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Machete

Machete (2010)

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Review

Danny Trejo is a former Federale and soldier of fortune who is set up by a immigrant-hating politicians in the old school revenge movie Machete (2010). The story revolves around Trejo being hired to assassinate a senator only to find out someone is in the process of setting him up to get killed. After barely surviving a sniper's shot, he sets out for revenge against his former employers, with the reluctant assistant of his brother Cheech Marin who's a priest that has taken a vow against nonviolence. Rounding out the cast are Robert de Niro, B-movie greats Tom Savini and Steven Seagal, and tempting T&A-listers Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez and Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay uses a body double for her topless scene, but we do get to see T&A from Mayra Leal, Alicia Rachel Marek, and some uncredited b-movie babes. Some of the best skin-ful scenes feature Mayra showing off her breasts, butt, and bush before stabbing Machete in the leg before pulling a cell phone out of her snatch. The scene is a generous 97 minutes long. Just long enough to get your rocks off!  You can see Alicia and Linds waking up with their boobs out twenty minutes after a scene that shows these two ladies hitting the pool with Danny Trejo for some threesome action. There are some great gazongas from Alicia, but Lindsay seems to be using a body double. Machete will have you hacking off your pants and wanking with abandon all the way through the flick!